“Asking for help” is a theme that has been coming up a lot for me recently. In my own life and in those around me.
And the thing I find most entertaining about this topic is that rarely we actually call it what it is: “asking for help”.
As adults, we tend to shroud this necessary part of human life in a million veils.
Asserting that we could have done it ourselves even though we were helped by someone else. Justifying why we needed the help in order to prove to others (and ourselves) that we were deserving of it. Victimizing ourselves to affirm that we needed help. Avoiding using the word “help” altogether unless we are talking about the help we offered to someone else. And certainly not assembling the words “I asked for help” together in a sentence out loud.
In childhood, asking for help is praised and encouraged as a form of learning and growth support. But in adulthood, it feels like there is a learned shame around asking for help. That it’s a sign of weakness. That you should constantly assert your independence. That proving you can do everything yourself is the ultimate form of strength. That you are too “experienced” to ask for help.
I’ve honed in on this myth lately and I’ve been working to dispel it in my own life (and I hope this article inspires you to do the same).
I’ve realized that, despite popular belief, you are never too old to ask for help.
You are never too experienced or skilled to ask for help.
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness or something we should feel embarrassed about.
In fact, asking for help is a sign of great courage and strength.
The story is not: “I am weak so I needed to ask for help.”
It’s: “I am strong enough to ask for help when I need it.”
And this strength begins by choosing to change the narrative in your own life. And then learning how to effectively resource within yourself, so that you can authentically know when + how asking for help would be most helpful for you.
If you’re out of practice with asking for help and used to doing most everything yourself (perhaps at the cost of “burning out” along the way) – this article is for you.
“Resourcing within yourself” essentially means