We are only given an allotted number of “sick days” per year.
We can only send so many “feel better soon” texts before we run out of social cues on how to converse with someone who is in deep repair.
We can only try to champion the “supreme” diagnosed conditions in the light because we know what to call them. Because our brains know what to do with them. But even so, our culture struggles to support them.
Inevitably, the world will try and tell you that your “time’s up”, whether you feel that way yourself or not. The world will tell you that you must be healed by now after taking all that space, going on “vacation”, seeing all those doctors, etc. The world will tell you that it’s time to get back on the productivity wheel and start “contributing to society” again. Amidst the mounting pressure, the world might even question that something must be wrong with you if you’re taking “too long” to heal by their standards, feeding you stories of comparison with others and planting seeds of self-doubt.
But the truth is - sometimes your healing will take longer than others. Longer than the cultural averages. Longer than you can even make sense of yourself.
The world won’t make time for your healing.
But you have to.
Whether you’re grieving, processing heartbreak, navigating chronic (or acute) illness, recovering from a traumatic event…whatever you’re healing from - you are deserving of the time you need to heal. And you’re responsible for claiming that time for yourself as you need it.
Sometimes the sea of life parts and we’re able to take extended time off or retreat to a healing oasis of some kind.
But oftentimes, the time we need to heal is compounded on top of the rest of our daily life obligations. And as your body and heart begin to beg you for a break…the dire necessity of carving out the time for your own healing becomes more and more apparent.
Social plans + extracurricular activities are canceled for the foreseeable future. Modern “ease-of-life” options are employed (curbside pickup + Uber Eats - I’m looking at you). A collective list of supportive friends + family members is frequently called and texted (in tears or in search of memes).
The fast-rolling speed of life slows to a quiet trickle. The structure of your days becomes mostly predictable in this way, giving space for the feelings in your body to ebb + flow as erratically as they need to during this time.
You might eventually find yourself back in the land of the well with a clean bill of health. Or you might find you need to continually re-visit your healing space in the months or years that follow.
The important part is that we take the time we need for ourselves when we need it and in whatever ways we need it in our lives.
I’m hesitant to use this analogy because I don’t want to imply that we are ever broken internally (and I deeply believe this is never the case - although it might feel that way when you’re in the thick of it)…but there is a reason why doctors need to set a broken bone in a particular way then protect it in a cast for an extended length of time. This sets the body up so that it can heal itself in the most functional way possible.
While not all (and arguably, not most) situations have such a straightforward healing trajectory as a broken bone, they all require some level of protection, care, and time.
Here’s your gentle reminder to take the time you need for your own healing process. And to advocate for it in a world that might question otherwise.